VGA Planets Super Site

Murphy's Laws For VGA Planets
by Matt Clouser

(A clever adaptation of Murphy’s Law’s … "If you’ve discovered the error then there are another four that you haven’t found!")


  • No offensive plan EVER survives contact with an opponent.
  • Attacking with a plan does not guarantee success, but attacking without one ensures defeat.
  • When you are short of everything except enemy starships, you are in combat.
  • The largest warship has the right of way.
  • Anything you do, including nothing, can get your ships fired at.
  • Your torpedo miss rate will be directly proportional to the criticality of the battle.
  • The reliability of your combat sims will be inversely proportional to the criticality of the battle.
  • The easiest route is ALWAYS mined.
  • An experienced player is predictable - the boards are chock-full of amateurs.
  • NEVER assume your opponent is smart enough not to attack.
  • When in doubt, MINE!
  • If your opponent is within attack range, so are you.
  • If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
  • The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
  • Try to look inconspicuous - they may be low on fighters!
  • The Law of the Torpedo states the ship with fighters wins.
  • Remember: the lowest bidder made your torpedoes!



  • Alliances are important. It gives your opponents someone else to shoot at!
  • Friendly fire - isn't.
  • Your allies will miss their turn the day you'll most need their support.
  • If you can't remember, your ally's starbases are set to NUK.
  • An ally who appears to put your priorities over his own may not be as stupid as you think.
  • Alliances are made via subspace - rather fitting as both have about the same chances of actually existing.
  • Capturing or destroying allied starships that "accidentally" violate treaties are the best way to "remind" your ally you are paying attention.
  • Believing your opponents sub-space messages is almost as stupid as ignoring them.
  • When in doubt - lie.
  • When lying, stay as close to the truth as possible - it makes the details easier to remember!
  • Murphy plays VGA PLANETS!!!
This article was submitted by the Editor of the, now defunct, E-Zine Planeteer Resurrection.
Other articles, fiction & humour from the Planeteer Resurrection have been submitted to the "UK Atheist & Science E-Zine"



Copyright © 1998-2017 unless otherwise specified. All Rights Reserved.
This website may not, in whole or in part, be sold, reproduced, published or redistributed in any medium, directly or indirectly,
for any commercial or non-commercial purpose without the express written permission of the owner. is owned and operated by and all inquiries should be addressed via the contact link.
All other material © of their respectful owners.
This fansite is not affiliated with VGA Planets or Tim Wisseman.
VGA Planets is Copyright © 1992-2017 Tim Wisseman